Hiding My Heart
by IonaPen
Summary: Renesmee has a feeling that something is wrong. Either that, or it's right. She can't tell. But she knows what Jake will think. Maybe she's just being paranoid, but what will really happen to Jake and Renesmee's relationship if she isn't imagining this?


**DISCLAIMER: I don't own Twilight.**

**A/N: Hey there, guys. Just a little something I wrote when I was in England last year, thought it was about time I posted it! There's only a few chapters, so they'll be up soon. Hope you enjoy, and let me know what you think!**

**Hiding My Heart**

_(It's named after an Adele song that I'm totally obsessed with)_

**Chapter One**

**Renesmee's POV:**

Placing the piece of plastic on the bathroom counter, I exhaled. There was nothing I could do but wait. I looked at the pastel blue coloured packaging, and then at my watch. Ten minutes. At eleven forty six, I would know for sure. There wouldn't be all of this confusion, not to mention awkwardness.

Running my fingers through my thick curls and sighing, I clicked open the bathroom door and went into Jake and I's bedroom. He was sitting on the king-sized bed, drying his sweaty palms on his jeans.

"Well?" He asked, his voice an octave higher than usual. I walked over to him, and he immediately took my hand, as if he was on autopilot.

"I. . .I don't know. It takes ten minutes, and I spent at least five minutes willing myself to actually go through with this." I twisted my fingers nervously around his. He sighed, and dropped my hand.

"I just can't believe all of this." He folded his hands around his face and rubbed his temples. He sat like that for some time, as I stood beside him silently, while tears formed, and cascaded down my face. Eventually, I couldn't hold in the sobs, and a strange strangling sound came from my throat. He looked up immediately, and saw my wet, red rimmed eyes.

He carefully took me around the waist and pulled me onto his lap, rocking me back and forth.

"Shh. . .It'll be okay, love, don't cry." He stroked my hair, trying to calm me. Any other day it would've worked, but I was in hysterics.

"This is all my fault." I sobbed. "If I hadn't. . . I should have. . ." Jacob brought his finger to my quivering lips.

"None of this is your fault." He said strongly, but not loudly. "How could you have known?" His eyes bore into mine. When I looked at him, I could see he was scared too. He was trying to not show it, putting up a brick wall, but the bricks were cracking.

"You hate me." I breathed.

He rolled us over so that I was lying flat on my back in the middle of our bed, and he was above me, propped up by his elbow that lay beside both of my arms.

"Don't _ever_ think that, Ness." He scrunched his eyes up, and shook his head. "No matter what happens, what you do, or what I do, I could never _ever_ hate you." A tiny smile came to his face, but as quickly it had come, it disappeared. "Not even if I tried. I love you." He leant down to kiss the corner of my lips.

"I'm so scared." I whispered against the soft skin of his cheek. "What do we do if I am. . ." I couldn't even say the word. "I'm not ready for this." Jake leant back again, and he sat up, his fingers twitching beside my own.

"What do _you_ want to do? If you are. . . you know."

I sat up beside him and took both of his hands, stroking his perfect, soft fingers. "I don't know." I laughed, with no humour whatsoever, and wiped a stray tear from the corner of my eye. "I feel totally stupid. I mean, what if I'm not even-" He cut me off.

"But what if you are?"

As soon as he said it I knew. I didn't need to go back into the bathroom, I already knew. I already knew exactly what would be shown on the oval display of plastic. Jacob was right. Of course he was. But I wasn't upset. I was. . . I was. . . relieved.

Illogical tears flowed. I wasn't supposed to cry. People cried when they were sad, or scared, or exceptionally happy. Normal people didn't cry when they were relieved. I _was_ relieved, but I couldn't tell Jacob.

He checked his watch. "Eleven forty two." He told me mechanically, as if he was an alarm clock, automatically doing his given job. I nodded.

"Four more minutes." I pulled my sleeve over my hand and dried my own tears, sniffing in the process. Jake passed me a tissue from our shared bedside cabinet. "Thanks" I mumbled.

I blew my nose, scrunched up the tissue, and aimed for the small bin in the corner. The tissue fell about three metres away. Jake and I both snickered at my attempt, and soon enough we were both in stitches. It felt so good to laugh out loud.

I lay down on my back again, and Jake joined me, lying beside me. We just stared at the ceiling, until he spoke.

"So what do you want to do for the remaining. . ." He consulted his watch, "three minutes and thirteen seconds?"

I swallowed back the lump in my throat, and shook my head. "I don't want to cry, or talk about what will change forever. I just want to be me," I looked at him sideways and smiled, "for three minutes and thirteen seconds, at least."

I rolled over and started kissing him, and he didn't hesitate in kissing me back. I tugged shaking fingers through his thick, dark hair, while his hands travelled down my waist, stopping at my hips, holding me gently.

His lips never left me, first kissing my own lips, then moving slowly down my face to my neck. I could feel his skin moving against the blood pulsing just under my jaw line. I breathed deeply, as Jake moved his mouth over my collar bone. Once my breathing had evened out, I pulled his face back to my own, and we continued kissing.

After what felt like only seconds, I looked at the watch on Jake's left wrist. It was almost twelve. I quickly pulled my lips from his, and jolted towards the bathroom door, only stopping when I reached the entrance. My fingers toyed with the door frame, and I felt Jake come up behind me and place his hands gently on my sides.

"Nervous?"

I nodded, closing my eyes.

"Do you want me to come in with you, and we can check together?" I could hear the quaver in his voice. That was the last thing he wanted to do, he was just being audacious.

"I need to do this alone." I confirmed, taking deep breaths. I heard Jake sigh with relief.

"Okay, but I'm right here. I'm not going anywhere, ever. No matter what." He tucked my hair behind my ear for me.

"I know."

I took another deep breath, and opened the door, stepping onto the cold floor tiles and closing the door behind me, giving Jake a reassuring, yet forced smile.

I stood with my back at the door, staring at the counter where the plastic lay, cautious to move forward. I slid down to the floor and placed my cheek against the icy tiles.

After a minute or two, I gathered myself up, and walked forward, ready for anything.

I picked it up, studying it for sometime. Checking the instruction leaflet to make sure I was right. Dropping the plastic, and the instructions in the metal bin, I waltzed back to the door. When Jacob heard the click of the bathroom door closing, his head jolted upright, and he studied my face carefully.

"Well?" He licked his bottom lip nervously.

I nodded.

**Okay, so thank you very much for reading, and please please review! You know how much I love you all, and I will reply to every review! - Sorry I can't reply to anonymous reviews, I wish I could!**

**You guys know the drill by now, ready for the catchphrase. . ?**

**_FailCullen_, Over and Out!x**


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